1. Yes, having a vagina automatically makes you responsible for all 250 “to-do’s” on The Knot’s wedding checklist.
2. Have a guest list? Most of the people you want there won’t be able to make it. People with names you’ve never heard of will start to pop up instead.
3. Expect your groom to say things like “just tell me when and where and I’ll show up.” Refrain from punching him in the face.
4. Also refrain from punching people who tell you to just “keep it simple” to cut costs. Even “simple” weddings cost a crazy sum.
5. Be prepared to field phone calls from your family for your wedding being vegan, being held at a farm and for recommending guests refrain from heels. Heaven forbid.
6. Sometimes you will look forward to the day you quit being a wedding planner more than you look forward to being a wife.
7. If you didn’t curse before planning, be prepared to start now. Also, be prepared to start drinking.
8. Expect guilt trips about money from people you never asked anything from. Feel really bad about it.
9. You may have debt after the wedding, but at least you’ll have fancy wine glasses from your registry!
10.Glossy wedding magazines are just about as good as photoshopped celebrity magazines for your self-esteem.
11.Want to make the planning experience extra fun? Quit your full-time job and take a pregnancy test (it was negative) two months before the wedding!
Have anything to add? Want to tell me to “keep it simple” or that I shouldn’t have a vegan wedding? Leave it in the comments!