Yesterday was another awesome day off. I was lazy in the morning before heading out for a 7 mile run around downtown. It was really warm but still such a beautiful day.
Orlando is a smaller city but there’s a draw to it that I can’t resist. Especially on Sundays, all kinds of families, tourists and dog walkers congregate around Lake Eola. Along the lake there is a Sunday farmers market, cool eateries and a little setup where you can rent big swan paddle boats to take out on the lake.
Look- the babies are getting bigger!
Less than a mile from my house I was walking as a cool down, listening to music and enjoying the last part of being outside… when a dirtbag on a bike rode up from behind me and grabbed my butt.
I was in shock. Did that really just happen?
I cursed him for doing that and started to chase after him once I got my bearings. I felt violated. I felt so angry. I ran home, hopped in my car and circle the area for a solid 10 minutes. He was nowhere to be found.
I called 911 to report what had happened and an officer met me at my house to file a report. I gave an account of what happened and the best description I had of him. A female officer took the report. She said something similar happened to her when she was cycling and she was so glad I called. Two cops circled the area to try to find him.
Every two minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.
54% of sexual assaults aren’t reported to the police.
97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail.
(source)
This may have been “just” a butt grab that didn’t injure me physically, but it left me feeling violated and scared to walk my streets. Someone who thinks it’s okay to do that might be the person who thinks it’s okay to assault another female runner… or worse.
Kristen sent me a recent story of a guy who grabbed a woman’s butt in . She protested so he came back and started attacking her. Luckily someone heard her screaming and cops came quickly to arrest the guy. Check out the story and video here.
Bad things happen all the time- and that’s more of a reason to take a no tolerance stand. If anyone does this to you, call the cops. Let it be added to the records. Be aware. Imagine how you’ll react if this or that comes at you.
I’m being fitted for a hideaway knife this week and will be taking an intense self-defense class at my box soon. If anyone ever tries to do that (or worse) to me again, I hope that it’ll be me teaching them a lesson.
How do you stay safe when exercising outside? How would you have reacted if you were me?
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Wow, that is really good you filed a report! Good for you!!!
I stay safe by staying alert, knowing the path well that I am going on and telling my fiancé exactly where I am going and how long I will be gone.
Hopefully this post serves as a wake up call for others, thank you for writing it!
Ugh I am sorry this happened to you. I live in NYC and I have gotten grabbed a few times; once i kicked the guy in the balls because i was so mad.
I now carry pepper-spray with me on the subway
This is a great post. So many people don’t report things like this because they think it doesn’t matter. And I understand that…if you’re not hurt, filing a police report is a pain in the butt.
But as a criminal law attorney, I say FILE THE REPORT! Because things don’t happen in a vacuum. Guys like this tend to reoffend, and creating a paper trail of prior actions helps attorneys and police establish patterns. It’s incredibly useful. I know people think it’s not important, but it is important to speak up. No tolerance.
I have also kneed a guy in the balls once for grabbing me. Jerks.
Ashley recently posted..Back in the Saddle Again
I’m sorry this happened to you – and I definitely agree that you did the right thing by filing a report. An ass grab one day can definitely lead to more.
But I have to say that I’m not sure about the knife Ashley. You may want to think that one over a little more. That could easily backfire and it could be used against you, and you may want to look into what is legal where you live…Obviously it is up to you about what makes you feel safer, but tread lightly when it comes to weapons.
Kristen recently posted..happy to be home
I agree entirely. There are plenty of studies that show that an un-trained amateur with a knife is more likely to do harm to themselves than an attacker. Knife skills are not something you up and learn; police officers spend entire courses learning how to use them correctly, after all of the other defence stuff.
You should consult with the police officer who took your statement on the best way to defend yourself…they see a lot and have great experience with this kind of stuff.
I’m sorry this has happened to you – good call on filing the report.
I have to agree with Kristen and Rick though, and wouldn’t recommend carrying a knife. I’m a kickboxer and have been for a long time. We regularly train with weapons such as sticks, knifes, etc. but I wouldn’t carry one on bike-rides or such. I think it’s just too dangerous in case the attacker gets hold of it and uses it against you.
But that’s just my opinion.
My tip for safety would be to not only take a one-time self defense class, but sign up for something regular – a once a week thing or some form of martial arts.
Another issue with the knife is that you may not be within your rights to use it on someone who grabs your butt. You do have a right to defend yourself, but you can be charged with assault or battery if you attempt to injure or kill someone. Police look at the severity of the reaction versus the action. Someone grabbing your butt is never appropriate and you should file charges if you feel unsafe, but stabbing someone who grabbed you would land you with charges as well. I agree that the self defense is an excellent precaution, but our law system is not set up to protect criminals or vigilantes.
I agree that a knife sounds dangerous. I think there are some sprays that you could use against an attacker if you have to. They cause temporary blindness or just severe burning…and that should give you adequate time to run away!
I think that if anyone attacks you…instead of trying to attack the attacker, just run away. What if the guy carries a gun, or a knife? The guy that was caught on the video you posted did carry a gun…
Maria recently posted..Have errands to run? Great, they save your life!
Ashley, I’m all for self defense classes and I’m glad you filed a police report. However, PLEASE DO NOT START CARRYING A KNIFE. Like others have said, you will be putting yourself in a much more precarious position both physically and legally.
Then again, you do live in one of the most legally screwed up states in the country so, hey, Stand Your Ground, right? Wrong. Please don’t do this.
WOW. Good for you for following up with a police report!! Stay safe.
There were issues of this on the Nike campus last year. Same guy, multiple butts. My dad is a cop and he told me they had an undercover female cop jogging the campus everyday to see if it would happen – but they feared what she might do to him if she actually caught him.
I like to think that if it happened to me I would be quick enough to see what he looked like (and possibly break his nose) but I think I would be so shocked I wouldn’t know what to do.
Good job with the police report.
Laura is Undeterrable recently posted..Monday Morning Motivation
Even though it’s “just” a butt grab, it was unsolicited and unwanted on your part, as well as sexual in nature, therefor it fits under the category of sexual assault (according to the law in Canada).
I think you did the right thing! And I am extremely glad that the police listened to you and helped you file a report – some are not as understanding or well-trained.
Suzana recently posted..Kincardine
So sorry this happened to you, but I’m glad you filed the report and echo what everyone else has said re: establishing a pattern, etc. I generally feel very safe when I’m out exercising and just try to stay aware of my surroundings, though something like this can happen at any time. I think the only way to prevent actions like this (and worse) is to work to change the culture and the way men are taught to objectify women.
Kira recently posted..Willamette Valley Vacation Part 1
I carry pepper spray with me wherever I go! They sell some at my local running store
Sana recently posted..Last Minute 10-Pager
I’m so glad you posted about this. Being a runner can be extremely scary sometimes. That video I sent you freaked me out enough already, but then to have something similar happen to you makes it even more real. A few years ago, I went for my normal 6 AM run in the fall when it was dark outside. As soon as I returned home, my phone rang – my mom called to tell me there was a man running from the police, supposedly armed, and this was all going down in the area that I did my run in. I felt incredibly lucky in that situation and it scared me enough to very rarely run outside in the dark anymore.
And to answer your question, I definitely would have called the police but I’m not sure I would have chased after him…
Kristen @ The Concrete Runner recently posted..chocolate chip cookie green smoothie
I’m sorry to hear that happened to you, that’s absolutely horrible and definitely not tolerable. I’m glad you reported the incident and are taking precautions to protect yourself.
Victoria recently posted..Weekend…
Thanks for your input, guys. The knife I’m getting fitted for is very small and hooks well onto my fingers so it’s hard to get off. I’ll consider pepper spray too
Ashley, carrying a knife while running because someone grabbed your butt is ludicrous. If you hurt someone with that knife because you feel threatened you will more than likely go to jail. I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense but it is true. My husband is an attorney and a year ago went out of town on work. I thought I heard something downstairs and so I grabbed a baseball bat out of the closet and went down to inspect. Turns out it was my husband coming home a day early to surprise me but he scared me so badly I almost accidentally whacked him in the head.
After we both calmed down he told me that if I had hit an intruder with a baseball bat and either seriously hurt him or killed him I would be held responsible and prosecuted. The law doesn’t make sense a lot of the time and I understand that you felt violated but it is not a good idea to go running around with a knife. Please reconsider this. Pepper spray is a great alternative (even though it too is illegal where I live, in NYC, my husband and I came to the decision that a small fine is tolerable).
Thanks for your comment! If I did carry a knife, I wouldn’t use it because someone grabbed my butt, but I would keep it in case something worse happened. That’s not the case yet but I will be buying pepper spray from my local gun store this week.
healthy ashley recently posted..Running Safety: No Tolerance
I saw your Tweet about that yesterday and couldn’t believe it. When I ride my bike (I’m not a runner) I always carry mace with me in a place where I can actually get to it. I also carry a knife in my bag should I be lucky enough to be able to get to it. I like the knife option you are talking about though. I may have to look into that as well. We have had problems with attacks along the trail that I ride and when I ride the streets some of the neighborhoods aren’t that safe. It’s always better to be safe than sorry so good for you for reporting the incident and protecting yourself.
I carry a gun when I run and ride, and have one in my purse. I have been a concealed carry permit holder for 20 years and I am very comfortable carrying a weapon. I also carry pepper spray on the bike for dogs. I recently broke the ipod/music habit. I am more aware of my surroundings and it provides some much needed quiet time. Get some training and pick a weapon that makes you feel safe and you are comfortable and confident using. Guns are not for everybody and neither are knifes, figure out what works best for you. Good luck !!
UGH! So sorry this happened to you! I have been lucky so far, nothing has happened to me yet, but I am always wary. I stick to populated routes, never run in the dark, and live in a very safe suburb so I *should* be ok. But, always run with my mind on safety, regardless. Glad nothing more happened to you here!
Christina recently posted..Schedules and making time for fitness
Still stay super aware- I was in a suburb, in the middle of the day, on a weekend and on a busy street!
I went to Yellowstone last year and bought a can of bear mace for hikes. Thankfully never had to use it but now I carry it when I run or am out by myself biking or hiking. It shoots about 30 feet and can stop a charging bear (hopefully). If it can do that, I think it can tackle a 220lb guy. Used it on a charging 100lb dog when I was out running one time and he went sprinting the other way….
Just out of curiosity, what would you have done if you would have caught him?
I have no idea! What would you have done?
Not chased him b/c chasing someone down who harassed you is pretty much asking to get assaulted. I’d have filed a police report after like you did though.
omgomgomgomgomg yes!! What a dirtbag!! I am so sorry that happened to you
I run those same streets all the time and can’t believe someone did that to you. Gross!!
On a lighter note I would love to go on a run with you sometime! maybe I can join you for your warmup since I am not much of a distance girl lol.
It was so unfortunate for something like that to happen to you. But I am glad that you are alright.
Martin Solveig recently posted..maxworkoutsreview.net
Wow, that is pretty awful. Just last week in Spokane, there was a 64 year old lady assaulted in broad daylight in a park that I sometimes run in. I’m glad you reported this b/c it might have just been the beginning of something that might progress into something worse. These guys make me sick!!!
Geek Turned Athlete recently posted..Climbing to the Top!
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