The scenario of most of my life: craft big plan, write big plan down, scratch entire plan and go a different way entirely.
Naming this baby inside of me was no exception and brings me to tears every time I talk about it.
I didn’t pretend to be connected to my baby for the first half of my pregnancy. I cared for the baby, but I thought of it more as a pain in my ribs and something that was still far off in the distance rather than my child.
And then we had our first ultrasound and gender reveal.
I’ll save the really sappy details for my private journal, but it was the best day of my life. Hands down. Every single thing inside me changed and every “mom feeling” turned on. I was in love and started to count ten little fingers and ten little toes like they were the only things in the world.
Then we moved to a different angle to see the gender… it’s a girl!
She is such a beautiful girl. In most of her photos she was smiling and she has the sweetest little smile. And that little nose! We even got the best view of the bottoms of her feet.
One thing I realized in the ultrasound was how precious and feminine she was. She was very delicate (and not just because she is so little). She kept her hands up by her face and even had one knee tucked in, which is how I sleep every night! We’ve had a running list of names for years now and all of our girl names were a touch masculine (Carson, Parker). I immediately knew none of our names suited this girly little girl and we wiped the slate clean.
It wasn’t any big moment but after the appointment we flipped through a book of baby names and I spotted a name I had heard a million times but had never caught my eye until now: Clara. It never made it onto my names list and it’s not in my top ten, but I couldn’t shake it. Playing around with it I matched it with the middle name June, which has some significance since we were married in June.
I couldn’t shake the name. We did our research on other names and regardless of how much we liked other names, they weren’t for our little girl.
Friday we were dreaming about our baby in the sweetest baby section of a store in downtown Savannah and Richard told me, “I think Clara June is her name. Let’s do it.” And I cried. And cried some more.
So, that’s how to name a baby. Let it name itself. Because I have no idea how Clara June even ended up as an option, but that is undeniably, perfectly our little girl’s name.