This morning I finally sat down to write in the card I bought our boys' birth mom when the process first began. It's customary to give your child's birth mom a note and small gift when the child is placed with you; our open adoption relationship hasn't been textbook, so we did it today!
Since we were matched with the boys through a private attorney, she never got to see our profile book. Funny story, it actually came in the mail the day we got the news that we were chosen!
In addition to our book (so she could learn more about our family, where we live, what we do), we had a pendant made for her with the boys' birth date and an infinity symbol, and a small keepsake box. We also included our card, tons of photos of the boys (with descriptions written on the back) and an update letter with the boys' weight, milestones and other fun things.
Before writing the letter, I did some Googling for inspiration on what adoptive parents have written their children's' brith mothers/parents. I found nothing! I wanted to share what I wrote to her in case any other adoptive parents need inspiration for pulling together all those emotions and feelings of thanks into a few sentences!
Dear ____,We are forever connected, and forever grateful to you, for you chose us to parent these two perfect baby boys you grew right under your heart. Thanks will never be enough. Instead, we hope that you feel security and joy that Henry and Jack are forever loved and cared for, and that they will always know you and the selfless choice you made for them. We couldn’t possibly love these boys more!
With lots of love, Richard and Ashley